I didn’t make myself

I didn’t make myself

I wonder if I had a choice, would I make me, me?

If you had a choice, would you make you, you?

Would it depend on the choices that you were given? What if you had no example, but you had all of the pieces?

Take a good long deep look in the mirror; would you seriously put all those pieces perfectly in place, body parts perfectly positioned, every follicle of hair perfectly positioned, complexion of skin, and teeth in place, would you?

I bet you wouldn’t, even if you could.

Perfection doesn’t exist. We grow, change, develop, evolve, get wounds that leave scars.

I am glad I didn’t make myself, but I’m so happy to be me.

You should be happy to be you, flaws, imperfections, vulnerabilities pet peeves and all. If your not happy being you, you could never be happy with someone else.

If you’re not happy with you, take it up with the one who made you, he’ll open up your eyes to your questions and fill you with answers. You’ll be able see beyond your questions of why, how and who, what, where and when.

You become filled with joy and gratitude.

I didn’t make myself and neither did you.

 

 

Raising a Biracial Daughter

Raising a Biracial Daughter

It breaks my heart to think of some of the things that my daughter has already been told and heard and she’s only 5 years old.

When my daughter was three she told me, “she wished her skin was white and her hair was straight, her skin was ugly”. I automatically got defensive. I wanted to know who is making fun of my baby.

Me my son and my daughter are 1 of 2 black families that live in a predominantly white town of 33,000 people. The daycare that she attended was a good one, but unfortunately you cannot control what the parents of the other children who attend the daycare say. They asked my daughter, why her hair was so curly, why her skin so black. It pissed me all the way off when she came home with these things.

My son and I would always reassure her that she is beautiful, and they are jealous of your beautiful brown skin and long thick curly hair. I told her every day that she is beautiful and if any one says something mean to her its ok to tell the teacher. If they say means stuff they are not your friend. Friends are nice to each other.

Today, she is 5 an thriving, we still tell her every day that she is beautiful, we travel to places that have more people that look like us and that makes her happy. Whenever we see another black person we get so happy.  We will be moving to a more culturally diverse state and town, so that my children are enriched with the beauty of different people, culture in this grate beautiful world.

She knows that she is beautiful, brave, smart, clever, strong, healthy, kind and the best baby girl in the whole world.  This is how I intend on continuing to raise my daughter and for raising a black son in this world has its own challenges, but same strategy applies.

I love my kids more that I have essence to explain and they are gifts to me and this world.

Raising a biracial daughter isn’t easy, but love conquers all and she has already won.

I love you baby girl.

5 Steps for New Wholeness Seekers

              Wholeness? What are you talking about?

   Well I am glad you asked, stick around and you’ll find out in a minute.

According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary “wholeness” is a noun that means, “the quality or state of being without restriction, exception, or qualification”. What does that means for me and, or you?

Self-evaluation leads to questions. How are we supposed to become and sustain that state of wholeness, if we don’t ask ourselves these questions in my opinion is impossible.

I know, I know; for some people these questions can be difficult to face, so ask yourself one question at a time and seek the answers at your own pace, but no procrastinating.

It’s in the seeking process we develop the skills to become the best versions of ourselves. Enjoying the discovery process is important to becoming our best versions because this journey is lifelong.

OK Dominique, so how do I start?

I’m glad you asked. I have 5 steps to start this new wholeness journey of yours. These tips are a few of what I have and still use today. Here goes.

Step 1: Ask yourself; what do I think about of me?And be fully-100% honest with yourself.

Step 2: Think about your thoughts, or as Creflo Dollar says, “Think about, what you’re thinking about”.

Step 3: Ask yourself; what do I enjoy doing? What makes me happy? What brings me complete joy and satisfaction?

Step 4: Self-care should make you feel like the Queen’s and King’s that you are. Ask yourself; what does self-care look like for me? This ties into mental health, but is its own entity.

Step 5: Mental health is also very important. Ask yourself; what can I do to make sure I’m mentally healthy? What does that look like for me and what can I do to be mentally the best me?

I hope that you enjoyed these 5 steps, they may help you become that best versions of yourself.

I am not a mental health professional. I am sharing what I practice for my own journey of wholeness and hope that this information would be able to help someone that is unsure how to get started on this beautiful journey of becoming the best versions of ourselves.

 

 

 

References/Credits:

Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary: https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/wholeness

Self-care Practices: http://www.health.com/mind-body/self-care-ideas

Mental Health: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140673607612380