What Makes You Better than Me?

What makes you better than me?

I didn’t choose where I was born, when I was born, or who I was born to. I didn’t choose my opportunities, my abilities, strength, weaknesses; I didn’t choose my cousins, uncles, aunties, brothers or sisters.

I didn’t choose were I was born.

You didn’t choose it either, so who are you to think that your better than me?

I didn’t choose my name, gender, birth date or time.

Man get over yourself, you are no better than me.

You may have more stuff, seen more, done more, but you are not better.

If I had the choice, I would choose better, but just because I don’t have what you have doesn’t make you better.

Stuff doesn’t make you better. Having things doesn’t make you better.

Can anyone tell me what makes you better than me?

To answer that question, you’re not.  Were all one we all have our part to play.

Together we make each other better.

 


You Were Made to Stand Out and Be Seen

Made to stand out

I have always been the “odd ball”, for a better way of putting it, but something happened after my 25th birthday, I just didn’t give a “rip” anymore. I couldn’t care less what people thought about me, so I dressed, and carried myself how I wanted to and it made me feel confident, happy and bold.

Finances were always a struggle and moving to another country in a totally different climate, and culture was difficult without support. I didn’t fit in any were, not only was I the only black person, but the only foreigner. There was no cultural diversity.

I got married to a man that promised to love me and support me, but that never happened; instead I got used, abused, teased and threatened. I was taught all the wrong information and I was always the guinea pig for deception when it came to him using his family for money. But no more, I started my college career at a local community college, and I was taught how to find information, later I learned it’s called research. Now I’m a certified researcher.

I graduated from a university I transferred to after 3 years of studies at a community college, and I am so proud of myself for making it through, it was one of the most difficult times in my life.

While in school I gave birth to my baby girl, went through a divorce and had to maintain a job to support my 2 kids. I had no family support, and my family back home couldn’t help me either.

For 3 of the 6 years I felt stuck, frustrated, alone and lonely, until I shifted how I thought about my situation. Then I came across Lisa Nichols on YouTube, she said two thing that I repeated in my mind that help me through my day to day life: the first is, “it’s OK to not be OK”, and the second is, “Why blend in, when you were made to stand out”.

I was made from the foundations of the world to stand out and that I do now, despite the racism, that dirty looks the gossip behind my back the jealous looks, envy, malice and whatever other ill will people have toward me that don’t know me.

Today I walk bold, confident, pleased, courageous and ready to create the life that I want; because I was made to stand out.


5 Steps for New Wholeness Seekers

              Wholeness? What are you talking about?

   Well I am glad you asked, stick around and you’ll find out in a minute.

According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary “wholeness” is a noun that means, “the quality or state of being without restriction, exception, or qualification”. What does that means for me and, or you?

Self-evaluation leads to questions. How are we supposed to become and sustain that state of wholeness, if we don’t ask ourselves these questions in my opinion is impossible.

I know, I know; for some people these questions can be difficult to face, so ask yourself one question at a time and seek the answers at your own pace, but no procrastinating.

It’s in the seeking process we develop the skills to become the best versions of ourselves. Enjoying the discovery process is important to becoming our best versions because this journey is lifelong.

OK Dominique, so how do I start?

I’m glad you asked. I have 5 steps to start this new wholeness journey of yours. These tips are a few of what I have and still use today. Here goes.

Step 1: Ask yourself; what do I think about of me?And be fully-100% honest with yourself.

Step 2: Think about your thoughts, or as Creflo Dollar says, “Think about, what you’re thinking about”.

Step 3: Ask yourself; what do I enjoy doing? What makes me happy? What brings me complete joy and satisfaction?

Step 4: Self-care should make you feel like the Queen’s and King’s that you are. Ask yourself; what does self-care look like for me? This ties into mental health, but is its own entity.

Step 5: Mental health is also very important. Ask yourself; what can I do to make sure I’m mentally healthy? What does that look like for me and what can I do to be mentally the best me?

I hope that you enjoyed these 5 steps, they may help you become that best versions of yourself.

I am not a mental health professional. I am sharing what I practice for my own journey of wholeness and hope that this information would be able to help someone that is unsure how to get started on this beautiful journey of becoming the best versions of ourselves.

 

 

 

References/Credits:

Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary: https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/wholeness

Self-care Practices: http://www.health.com/mind-body/self-care-ideas

Mental Health: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140673607612380