What makes you better than me?

What makes you better than me?

I didn’t choose where I was born, when I was born, or who I was born to. I didn’t choose my opportunities, my abilities, strength, weaknesses; I didn’t choose my cousins, uncles, aunties, brothers or sisters.

I didn’t choose were I was born.

You didn’t choose it either, so who are you to think that your better than me?

I didn’t choose my name, gender, birth date or time.

Man get over yourself, you are no better than me.

You may have more stuff, seen more, done more, but you are not better.

If I had the choice, I would choose better, but just because I don’t have what you have doesn’t make you better.

Stuff doesn’t make you better. Having things doesn’t make you better.

Can anyone tell me what makes you better than me?

To answer that question, you’re not.  Were all one we all have our part to play.

Together we make each other better.

 

I didn’t make myself

I didn’t make myself

I wonder if I had a choice, would I make me, me?

If you had a choice, would you make you, you?

Would it depend on the choices that you were given? What if you had no example, but you had all of the pieces?

Take a good long deep look in the mirror; would you seriously put all those pieces perfectly in place, body parts perfectly positioned, every follicle of hair perfectly positioned, complexion of skin, and teeth in place, would you?

I bet you wouldn’t, even if you could.

Perfection doesn’t exist. We grow, change, develop, evolve, get wounds that leave scars.

I am glad I didn’t make myself, but I’m so happy to be me.

You should be happy to be you, flaws, imperfections, vulnerabilities pet peeves and all. If your not happy being you, you could never be happy with someone else.

If you’re not happy with you, take it up with the one who made you, he’ll open up your eyes to your questions and fill you with answers. You’ll be able see beyond your questions of why, how and who, what, where and when.

You become filled with joy and gratitude.

I didn’t make myself and neither did you.

 

 

3 easy ways to start intermittent fasting.

3 easy ways to start intermittent fasting.

1. Eating dinner earlier. If you normally have dinner around 7-8pm then try for 6-7pm. This will allow your body to digest your diner earlier before you go to bed and give your body a better chance of cleaning and healing its self while you sleep.

2.  If the first point doesn’t work for you then try holding off on breakfast for an hour or more if you can. Instead of eating you can consume tea, water or cofee. Hydrating your body after 8 hours of sleep is only good for you and a great start to your day and a new intermittent fasting lifestyle.

3.  Keep beverages close by. Sometimes when we get a craving or a stomach  gurgle, we think that’s the alarm to put food in our gut, but it could be a sign of thirst. Keep hydrated and eventually you will recognize the difference between hunger and thirst.

These are the three easy steps I took to start my intermittent fasting life style.

You were made to stand out and be seen

Made to stand out

I have always been the “odd ball”, for a better way of putting it, but something happened after my 25th birthday, I just didn’t give a “rip” anymore. I couldn’t care less what people thought about me, so I dressed, and carried myself how I wanted to and it made me feel confident, happy and bold.

Finances were always a struggle and moving to another country in a totally different climate, and culture was difficult without support. I didn’t fit in any were, not only was I the only black person, but the only foreigner. There was no cultural diversity.

I got married to a man that promised to love me and support me, but that never happened; instead I got used, abused, teased and threatened. I was taught all the wrong information and I was always the guinea pig for deception when it came to him using his family for money. But no more, I started my college career at a local community college, and I was taught how to find information, later I learned it’s called research. Now I’m a certified researcher.

I graduated from a university I transferred to after 3 years of studies at a community college, and I am so proud of myself for making it through, it was one of the most difficult times in my life.

While in school I gave birth to my baby girl, went through a divorce and had to maintain a job to support my 2 kids. I had no family support, and my family back home couldn’t help me either.

For 3 of the 6 years I felt stuck, frustrated, alone and lonely, until I shifted how I thought about my situation. Then I came across Lisa Nichols on YouTube, she said two thing that I repeated in my mind that help me through my day to day life: the first is, “it’s OK to not be OK”, and the second is, “Why blend in, when you were made to stand out”.

I was made from the foundations of the world to stand out and that I do now, despite the racism, that dirty looks the gossip behind my back the jealous looks, envy, malice and whatever other ill will people have toward me that don’t know me.

Today I walk bold, confident, pleased, courageous and ready to create the life that I want; because I was made to stand out.

Raising a Biracial Daughter

Raising a Biracial Daughter

It breaks my heart to think of some of the things that my daughter has already been told and heard and she’s only 5 years old.

When my daughter was three she told me, “she wished her skin was white and her hair was straight, her skin was ugly”. I automatically got defensive. I wanted to know who is making fun of my baby.

Me my son and my daughter are 1 of 2 black families that live in a predominantly white town of 33,000 people. The daycare that she attended was a good one, but unfortunately you cannot control what the parents of the other children who attend the daycare say. They asked my daughter, why her hair was so curly, why her skin so black. It pissed me all the way off when she came home with these things.

My son and I would always reassure her that she is beautiful, and they are jealous of your beautiful brown skin and long thick curly hair. I told her every day that she is beautiful and if any one says something mean to her its ok to tell the teacher. If they say means stuff they are not your friend. Friends are nice to each other.

Today, she is 5 an thriving, we still tell her every day that she is beautiful, we travel to places that have more people that look like us and that makes her happy. Whenever we see another black person we get so happy.  We will be moving to a more culturally diverse state and town, so that my children are enriched with the beauty of different people, culture in this grate beautiful world.

She knows that she is beautiful, brave, smart, clever, strong, healthy, kind and the best baby girl in the whole world.  This is how I intend on continuing to raise my daughter and for raising a black son in this world has its own challenges, but same strategy applies.

I love my kids more that I have essence to explain and they are gifts to me and this world.

Raising a biracial daughter isn’t easy, but love conquers all and she has already won.

I love you baby girl.

5 Steps for New Wholeness Seekers

              Wholeness? What are you talking about?

   Well I am glad you asked, stick around and you’ll find out in a minute.

According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary “wholeness” is a noun that means, “the quality or state of being without restriction, exception, or qualification”. What does that means for me and, or you?

Self-evaluation leads to questions. How are we supposed to become and sustain that state of wholeness, if we don’t ask ourselves these questions in my opinion is impossible.

I know, I know; for some people these questions can be difficult to face, so ask yourself one question at a time and seek the answers at your own pace, but no procrastinating.

It’s in the seeking process we develop the skills to become the best versions of ourselves. Enjoying the discovery process is important to becoming our best versions because this journey is lifelong.

OK Dominique, so how do I start?

I’m glad you asked. I have 5 steps to start this new wholeness journey of yours. These tips are a few of what I have and still use today. Here goes.

Step 1: Ask yourself; what do I think about of me?And be fully-100% honest with yourself.

Step 2: Think about your thoughts, or as Creflo Dollar says, “Think about, what you’re thinking about”.

Step 3: Ask yourself; what do I enjoy doing? What makes me happy? What brings me complete joy and satisfaction?

Step 4: Self-care should make you feel like the Queen’s and King’s that you are. Ask yourself; what does self-care look like for me? This ties into mental health, but is its own entity.

Step 5: Mental health is also very important. Ask yourself; what can I do to make sure I’m mentally healthy? What does that look like for me and what can I do to be mentally the best me?

I hope that you enjoyed these 5 steps, they may help you become that best versions of yourself.

I am not a mental health professional. I am sharing what I practice for my own journey of wholeness and hope that this information would be able to help someone that is unsure how to get started on this beautiful journey of becoming the best versions of ourselves.

 

 

 

References/Credits:

Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary: https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/wholeness

Self-care Practices: http://www.health.com/mind-body/self-care-ideas

Mental Health: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140673607612380