Raising a Biracial Daughter

Raising a Biracial Daughter

It breaks my heart to think of some of the things that my daughter has already been told and heard and she’s only 5 years old.

When my daughter was three she told me, “she wished her skin was white and her hair was straight, her skin was ugly”. I automatically got defensive. I wanted to know who is making fun of my baby.

Me my son and my daughter are 1 of 2 black families that live in a predominantly white town of 33,000 people. The daycare that she attended was a good one, but unfortunately you cannot control what the parents of the other children who attend the daycare say. They asked my daughter, why her hair was so curly, why her skin so black. It pissed me all the way off when she came home with these things.

My son and I would always reassure her that she is beautiful, and they are jealous of your beautiful brown skin and long thick curly hair. I told her every day that she is beautiful and if any one says something mean to her its ok to tell the teacher. If they say means stuff they are not your friend. Friends are nice to each other.

Today, she is 5 an thriving, we still tell her every day that she is beautiful, we travel to places that have more people that look like us and that makes her happy. Whenever we see another black person we get so happy.  We will be moving to a more culturally diverse state and town, so that my children are enriched with the beauty of different people, culture in this grate beautiful world.

She knows that she is beautiful, brave, smart, clever, strong, healthy, kind and the best baby girl in the whole world.  This is how I intend on continuing to raise my daughter and for raising a black son in this world has its own challenges, but same strategy applies.

I love my kids more that I have essence to explain and they are gifts to me and this world.

Raising a biracial daughter isn’t easy, but love conquers all and she has already won.

I love you baby girl.

5 beginner steps to financial freedom

Financial Freedom

 

  1. Write down all of your spending daily for 7-14 days
  2. Calculate your incoming vs. your outgoing
  3. Assess where unnecessary spending happens and STOP IT
  4. Create another source of income, something that you enjoy and invest when your able
  5. Get comfortable with your new financial journey and adjust where applicable

Loving Without Limits

Loving without limits

I am very picky when it comes to everything, food, what I watch on TV, what I read, where I go, especially when it comes to the man in my life.

I am a person that gives second chances; you know everyone deserves a second chance right? But I never said that the second chance is going to come easy, that’ll be earned.

When I love, I love unconditionally. Unfortunately, this world and most people in it love with limits. For me it makes finding true love difficult.

I am letting God write my love story. I tried writing it myself and it was a mess every single time. I have been single for over 5 years, and I am glad I was. It allowed me to learn so much about myself, what I like, what I don’t like, what I truly want out of my life, what kind of person I want to be, and become, what kind of mother, wife, sister and friend I want to be too.

Truthfully that journey in the beginning was so difficult, but I knew that I was worth the person I keep dreaming of in my head. I found ways to discover me in my own way, I started with self-help books, and I quickly learned that was not the route for me. I listened to sermons, inspirational speakers, tried new things like talking to strangers in public. Fast forward a few years later I have gotten into my own flow, but somethings are a little harder than others, yet I still persist.

Social settings are still challenging for me, but not as terrifying as it used to be. I can hold a conversation with a stranger and not have my heart beating out of my chest. I can go on a date and pick up on red flags and say good night not feel worthless.

I have loved, lost and been used, mistreated, beaten, abused, but I refused to be consumed by it. I choose to let it all mean something good for me. It made me stronger, smarter, braver and wealthy.

I am waiting productively on my husband to find me.

I have unlimited love, passion and grace for my husband.

I do not fear loving without limits, I love myself, my kids, my family and my future husband, just how the father in heaven have unconditional and unlimited love, patience, grace, mercy and kindness for me.

I am not going to stop being picky, but I’ll never stop loving without limits.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Younger Me

There are so many things that I wish I knew growing up. I’m sure you can say the same. Right?

I wish I had a friend that was loyal and trust worthy, and meant what they said.

I wish I had someone that would take the time to talk with me about life and be honest. You ever had a person in your life that you thought would teach you about the raw truth about life no matter how grim it seemed, and make you feel safe to come to when you needed a safe place?

I needed that, but never got it until I met my husband.

I know now that life is what you wan it to be, but you have to put in the work and be dedicated.

I know now that what ever you dream can be your reality.

I know now that I am a co-creator of my future and it can be what ever I want it t be.

I know now that all older people are the smartest to take advice from.

There are so many other things I can talk about know as a young person. These are some of mine.

Please like, share and comment below and let’s get a conversation started.

 

 

 

5 steps to a Healthy Body

What does having a health body means to you?

I’ll tell you what it means to me. I think that my body is a direct reflection of my mind. You may think the same, maybe.

Here are my 5 steps in the right direction to a healthy body that I have and continue to do that can help you:

  1. Assess what you eat: this means pay attention to what you put in your mouth girl/boy. Its not cute to be mindlessly eating and expect to look and feel fantastic hun.
  2. Identify your triggers: this means taking note of what gives you those urges to mindlessly eat to make yourself feel better temporarily.
  3. Practice self-discipline: this means telling yourself that, two letter word that leads to discipline in your life; no.
  4. Create a routine that helps you achieve that body and mind that you desire: this means, think about what is and is not working in your life and daily routines, and eliminate what is not helping you.
  5. Be consistent: this means keep doing what is good for you and your goals even when you don’t feel like it.

These 5 steps are my personal tips that must be repeated daily to achieving goals even beyond obtaining a healthy body; you can apply these steps to, for example, your finances, going back to school, etc.

Love yourself enough to take these 5 steps for yourself.

 

5 Steps for New Wholeness Seekers

              Wholeness? What are you talking about?

   Well I am glad you asked, stick around and you’ll find out in a minute.

According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary “wholeness” is a noun that means, “the quality or state of being without restriction, exception, or qualification”. What does that means for me and, or you?

Self-evaluation leads to questions. How are we supposed to become and sustain that state of wholeness, if we don’t ask ourselves these questions in my opinion is impossible.

I know, I know; for some people these questions can be difficult to face, so ask yourself one question at a time and seek the answers at your own pace, but no procrastinating.

It’s in the seeking process we develop the skills to become the best versions of ourselves. Enjoying the discovery process is important to becoming our best versions because this journey is lifelong.

OK Dominique, so how do I start?

I’m glad you asked. I have 5 steps to start this new wholeness journey of yours. These tips are a few of what I have and still use today. Here goes.

Step 1: Ask yourself; what do I think about of me?And be fully-100% honest with yourself.

Step 2: Think about your thoughts, or as Creflo Dollar says, “Think about, what you’re thinking about”.

Step 3: Ask yourself; what do I enjoy doing? What makes me happy? What brings me complete joy and satisfaction?

Step 4: Self-care should make you feel like the Queen’s and King’s that you are. Ask yourself; what does self-care look like for me? This ties into mental health, but is its own entity.

Step 5: Mental health is also very important. Ask yourself; what can I do to make sure I’m mentally healthy? What does that look like for me and what can I do to be mentally the best me?

I hope that you enjoyed these 5 steps, they may help you become that best versions of yourself.

I am not a mental health professional. I am sharing what I practice for my own journey of wholeness and hope that this information would be able to help someone that is unsure how to get started on this beautiful journey of becoming the best versions of ourselves.

 

 

 

References/Credits:

Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary: https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/wholeness

Self-care Practices: http://www.health.com/mind-body/self-care-ideas

Mental Health: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140673607612380