I Didn’t Make Myself

I didn’t make myself

I wonder if I had a choice, would I make me, me?

If you had a choice, would you make you, you?

Would it depend on the choices that you were given? What if you had no example, but you had all of the pieces?

Take a good long deep look in the mirror; would you seriously put all those pieces perfectly in place, body parts perfectly positioned, every follicle of hair perfectly positioned, complexion of skin, and teeth in place, would you?

I bet you wouldn’t, even if you could.

Perfection doesn’t exist. We grow, change, develop, evolve, get wounds that leave scars.

I am glad I didn’t make myself, but I’m so happy to be me.

You should be happy to be you, flaws, imperfections, vulnerabilities pet peeves and all. If your not happy being you, you could never be happy with someone else.

If you’re not happy with you, take it up with the one who made you, he’ll open up your eyes to your questions and fill you with answers. You’ll be able see beyond your questions of why, how and who, what, where and when.

You become filled with joy and gratitude.

I didn’t make myself and neither did you.

3 Easy Ways to Start Intermittent Fasting.

3 easy ways to start intermittent fasting.

1. Eating dinner earlier. If you normally have dinner around 7-8pm then try for 6-7pm. This will allow your body to digest your diner earlier before you go to bed and give your body a better chance of cleaning and healing its self while you sleep.

2.  If the first point doesn’t work for you then try holding off on breakfast for an hour or more if you can. Instead of eating you can consume tea, water or coffee. Hydrating your body after 8 hours of sleep is only good for you and a great start to your day and a new intermittent fasting lifestyle.

3.  Keep beverages close by. Sometimes when we get a craving or a stomach  gurgle, we think that’s the alarm to put food in our gut, but it could be a sign of thirst. Keep hydrated and eventually you will recognize the difference between hunger and thirst.

These are the three easy steps I took to start my intermittent fasting life style.

You Were Made to Stand Out and Be Seen

Made to stand out

I have always been the “odd ball”, for a better way of putting it, but something happened after my 25th birthday, I just didn’t give a “rip” anymore. I couldn’t care less what people thought about me, so I dressed, and carried myself how I wanted to and it made me feel confident, happy and bold.

Finances were always a struggle and moving to another country in a totally different climate, and culture was difficult without support. I didn’t fit in any were, not only was I the only black person, but the only foreigner. There was no cultural diversity.

I got married to a man that promised to love me and support me, but that never happened; instead I got used, abused, teased and threatened. I was taught all the wrong information and I was always the guinea pig for deception when it came to him using his family for money. But no more, I started my college career at a local community college, and I was taught how to find information, later I learned it’s called research. Now I’m a certified researcher.

I graduated from a university I transferred to after 3 years of studies at a community college, and I am so proud of myself for making it through, it was one of the most difficult times in my life.

While in school I gave birth to my baby girl, went through a divorce and had to maintain a job to support my 2 kids. I had no family support, and my family back home couldn’t help me either.

For 3 of the 6 years I felt stuck, frustrated, alone and lonely, until I shifted how I thought about my situation. Then I came across Lisa Nichols on YouTube, she said two thing that I repeated in my mind that help me through my day to day life: the first is, “it’s OK to not be OK”, and the second is, “Why blend in, when you were made to stand out”.

I was made from the foundations of the world to stand out and that I do now, despite the racism, that dirty looks the gossip behind my back the jealous looks, envy, malice and whatever other ill will people have toward me that don’t know me.

Today I walk bold, confident, pleased, courageous and ready to create the life that I want; because I was made to stand out.

You Can’t Choose Your Family??

Choose your family well

All my life and even today, I hear; “you can’t choose your family”, I say bull. You most definitely can choose your family, but when you do, choose well.

Yes, we are all born into a family that we may or may not love or even like, but we all do have the advantage to choose who we spend our lives with; who we give our love to, who we commit to, and whom we invest our time in.

In order for us to choose well, we must endure trails, unfortunately be hurt, or if your fortunate learn from some elses experience’s and/or testimony’s.

I am rebellious by nature, but I choose what to be rebellious toward and I make sure that the outcome benefits me and my legacy. I people watch and not just once or twice, I take note of actions in different situations, I listen to language, word use, mannerisms, character, self-care, self-love, responses, reactions and the list continues.

A combination of those things paint a vivid picture about the authenticity of a person; which should tell you if you would truly want “this” person in your life or not.  If there are reservations to the answer you give yourself, just don’t. You are worth more than that. But if there is no hesitation to if this person should become a part of your life and your family, then go for it and don’t look back.

You could never regret a good decision. That person coming into your life should make it richer, make it better and you of course would be doing the same in their lives.

I choose those that I let into my sacred space very carefully, I am not interested in having any drama in my life, my life is a no drama zone.

We become like the people we spend time with, you do have the choice to invest time in people that make you better or not, ultimately the choice is still yours, so choose well.

So, I say again, you can definitely choose your family, but in doing so, choose well because you deserve the best.

My Children Made Me the Woman I Am

Raising my children made me the woman I am

Easy is not a word that comes to mind when I hear the words, “raising a child”.

My daughter is half Caribbean and half Irish, and I have no knowledge of the Irish heritage, but for her sake we will learn together.

My son is all Caribbean, but raised in US, he will also be thought about his heritage and we will learn more together.

I see the kindhearted, sweet, happy, brave smart little girl she is, and color never ever comes through for me, but unfortunately, we live in a difficult, digital world that feed off of ignorance and misconceptions.

At three my daughter wished her hair was straight and her skin was white. It broke my heart. I knew at this point I would have to step up my game as a woman and embrace all of me, so that I can be an example for her.  So, I did. I cut off every negative person and thing in my life including family members. I took better care of my health and dressing like I like myself.  I started being more social and outgoing. Man was that a daily struggle. Even today at times it still is.

My son is resilient, brave, tough and a fighter, he’s so caring smart, sociable and dedicated, ambitious and focused, I love my son so much.

Experiencing culture shock, mistreatment from the father figure who promised to take care of him and being protective of me although he didn’t know how. He’s one of the best young men I know.

I would talk to myself when I got dressed and they always watched me and say and do whatever everything. I would tell myself how gorgeous I am, how beautiful my brown skin is, and how lovely my curly hair was and how much I loved all of me so much how God made.

I was teaching them about self-acceptance, not talking at them about it. I showed them ways to love themselves and to not take what ignorant people have to say personal. They can’t help being stupid, but they do make the choose to be mean. Using words to hurt isn’t funny or fun and try their best to stay away form people like that.

Fast forward two years later, I can’t even recognize the awesome woman that I have become because of my kids. I graduated from University.  We live in an apartment that I always though was out of my reach, but always dreamed of living in. I make a good salary and my kids are so much happier, I am in gratitude every day for God bringing us so far.  My teenage son inspires me and my toddler daughter motivates me.

Thank you baby’s your my hero’s.



[insert pic of them holding hands walking to the park]

Raising a Biracial Daughter

Raising a Biracial Daughter

It breaks my heart to think of some of the things that my daughter has already been told and heard and she’s only 5 years old.

When my daughter was three she told me, “she wished her skin was white and her hair was straight, her skin was ugly”. I automatically got defensive. I wanted to know who is making fun of my baby.

Me my son and my daughter are 1 of 2 black families that live in a predominantly white town of 33,000 people. The daycare that she attended was a good one, but unfortunately you cannot control what the parents of the other children who attend the daycare say. They asked my daughter, why her hair was so curly, why her skin so black. It pissed me all the way off when she came home with these things.

My son and I would always reassure her that she is beautiful, and they are jealous of your beautiful brown skin and long thick curly hair. I told her every day that she is beautiful and if any one says something mean to her its ok to tell the teacher. If they say means stuff they are not your friend. Friends are nice to each other.

Today, she is 5 an thriving, we still tell her every day that she is beautiful, we travel to places that have more people that look like us and that makes her happy. Whenever we see another black person we get so happy.  We will be moving to a more culturally diverse state and town, so that my children are enriched with the beauty of different people, culture in this grate beautiful world.

She knows that she is beautiful, brave, smart, clever, strong, healthy, kind and the best baby girl in the whole world.  This is how I intend on continuing to raise my daughter and for raising a black son in this world has its own challenges, but same strategy applies.

I love my kids more that I have essence to explain and they are gifts to me and this world.

Raising a biracial daughter isn’t easy, but love conquers all and she has already won.

I love you baby girl.

5 Beginner Steps to Financial Freedom

Financial Freedom


  1. Write down all of your spending daily for 7-14 days
  2. Calculate your incoming vs. your outgoing
  3. Assess where unnecessary spending happens and STOP IT
  4. Create another source of income, something that you enjoy and invest when your able
  5. Get comfortable with your new financial journey and adjust where applicable

Loving without limits

I am very picky when it comes to everything, food, what I watch on TV, what I read, where I go, especially when it comes to the man in my life.

I am a person that gives second chances; you know everyone deserves a second chance right? But I never said that the second chance is going to come easy, that’ll be earned.

When I love, I love unconditionally. Unfortunately, this world and most people in it love with limits. For me it makes finding true love difficult.

I am letting God write my love story. I tried writing it myself and it was a mess every single time. I have been single for over 5 years, and I am glad I was. It allowed me to learn so much about myself, what I like, what I don’t like, what I truly want out of my life, what kind of person I want to be, and become, what kind of mother, wife, sister and friend I want to be too.

Truthfully that journey in the beginning was so difficult, but I knew that I was worth the person I keep dreaming of in my head. I found ways to discover me in my own way, I started with self-help books, and I quickly learned that was not the route for me. I listened to sermons, inspirational speakers, tried new things like talking to strangers in public. Fast forward a few years later I have gotten into my own flow, but somethings are a little harder than others, yet I still persist.

Social settings are still challenging for me, but not as terrifying as it used to be. I can hold a conversation with a stranger and not have my heart beating out of my chest. I can go on a date and pick up on red flags and say good night not feel worthless.

I have loved, lost and been used, mistreated, beaten, abused, but I refused to be consumed by it. I choose to let it all mean something good for me. It made me stronger, smarter, braver and wealthy.

I am waiting productively on my husband to find me.

I have unlimited love, passion and grace for my husband.

I do not fear loving without limits, I love myself, my kids, my family and my future husband, just how the father in heaven have unconditional and unlimited love, patience, grace, mercy and kindness for me.

I am not going to stop being picky, but I’ll never stop loving without limits.







Loving Without Limits

Dear Younger Me

There are so many things that I wish I knew growing up. I’m sure you can say the same. Right?

I wish I had a friend that was loyal and trust worthy, and meant what they said.

I wish I had someone that would take the time to talk with me about life and be honest. You ever had a person in your life that you thought would teach you about the raw truth about life no matter how grim it seemed, and make you feel safe to come to when you needed a safe place?

I needed that, but never got it until I met my husband.

I know now that life is what you wan it to be, but you have to put in the work and be dedicated.

I know now that what ever you dream can be your reality.

I know now that I am a co-creator of my future and it can be what ever I want it t be.

I know now that all older people are the smartest to take advice from.

There are so many other things I can talk about know as a young person. These are some of mine.

Please like, share and comment below and let’s get a conversation started.




5 Steps to a Healthy Body

What does having a health body means to you?

I’ll tell you what it means to me. I think that my body is a direct reflection of my mind. You may think the same, maybe.

Here are my 5 steps in the right direction to a healthy body that I have and continue to do that can help you:

  1. Assess what you eat: this means pay attention to what you put in your mouth girl/boy. Its not cute to be mindlessly eating and expect to look and feel fantastic hun.
  2. Identify your triggers: this means taking note of what gives you those urges to mindlessly eat to make yourself feel better temporarily.
  3. Practice self-discipline: this means telling yourself that, two letter word that leads to discipline in your life; no.
  4. Create a routine that helps you achieve that body and mind that you desire: this means, think about what is and is not working in your life and daily routines, and eliminate what is not helping you.
  5. Be consistent: this means keep doing what is good for you and your goals even when you don’t feel like it.

These 5 steps are my personal tips that must be repeated daily to achieving goals even beyond obtaining a healthy body; you can apply these steps to, for example, your finances, going back to school, etc.

Love yourself enough to take these 5 steps for yourself.