Why Should I Fall in Love Again?

Falling in love has never done me any good. I have some-what fallen, half –way fallen, and fallen so deep it took years to get back to myself. I don’t want to fall in love anymore. Falling in love hurts too much, and love isn’t supposed to hurt, right? I know it isn’t supposed to hurt. To me falling in love is like a rough landing of an airplane, or when it crashes. You never know how bad it’s going to be and how long the recovery will take until you’re going through it and every moment sucks.  

Instead, I want to rise in love. Rising in love to me would be like a smooth lift off when flying in an airplane, or smooth elevating when on a roller coaster. That doesn’t hurt, it feels other worldly. So good it makes you think of so many possibilities, choices and ways that your life can go.

It gives you a big picture purview. I want the flight to last a life time, that’s what my hearts desire. No matter how long or short it lasts, when you’re on the right flight and it seems as though you’re elevating or maintaining, there won’t be a fall, but a soar.

It’s a different concept, but it’s that good stuff that makes you a better person regardless of the outcome, because you’ll continue to soar always.

Choose to rise in love and let each hand hold the hand of another, so that you can rise in love together.


My Imperfectly Perfect Man- A Letter to my man

Hey baby!

I’ve been waiting for you, and I am worth every moment you waited for me. Those beautiful piercing eyes that look at me the way only you do. I thought at times you were too good to be true, but here you are holding me so perfectly.

There were months, let’s be honest years, I’ve dreamt about what you would look like. Now I don’t have to imagine anymore.

I was very happy single, but you added something to me, to us, that I believe only you could. You’re imperfectly perfect just for me.

I’m glad similar things make us happy and we complement one another so well. It’s funny that with you I don’t get a since of searching, but satisfaction. You make me feel like I’m the only person on earth, to me that is priceless.

Thank you for being imperfectly perfect just for me.


I Didn’t Make Myself

I didn’t make myself

I wonder if I had a choice, would I make me, me?

If you had a choice, would you make you, you?

Would it depend on the choices that you were given? What if you had no example, but you had all of the pieces?

Take a good long deep look in the mirror; would you seriously put all those pieces perfectly in place, body parts perfectly positioned, every follicle of hair perfectly positioned, complexion of skin, and teeth in place, would you?

I bet you wouldn’t, even if you could.

Perfection doesn’t exist. We grow, change, develop, evolve, get wounds that leave scars.

I am glad I didn’t make myself, but I’m so happy to be me.

You should be happy to be you, flaws, imperfections, vulnerabilities pet peeves and all. If your not happy being you, you could never be happy with someone else.

If you’re not happy with you, take it up with the one who made you, he’ll open up your eyes to your questions and fill you with answers. You’ll be able see beyond your questions of why, how and who, what, where and when.

You become filled with joy and gratitude.

I didn’t make myself and neither did you.


You Can’t Choose Your Family??

Choose your family well

All my life and even today, I hear; “you can’t choose your family”, I say bull. You most definitely can choose your family, but when you do, choose well.

Yes, we are all born into a family that we may or may not love or even like, but we all do have the advantage to choose who we spend our lives with; who we give our love to, who we commit to, and whom we invest our time in.

In order for us to choose well, we must endure trails, unfortunately be hurt, or if your fortunate learn from some elses experience’s and/or testimony’s.

I am rebellious by nature, but I choose what to be rebellious toward and I make sure that the outcome benefits me and my legacy. I people watch and not just once or twice, I take note of actions in different situations, I listen to language, word use, mannerisms, character, self-care, self-love, responses, reactions and the list continues.

A combination of those things paint a vivid picture about the authenticity of a person; which should tell you if you would truly want “this” person in your life or not.  If there are reservations to the answer you give yourself, just don’t. You are worth more than that. But if there is no hesitation to if this person should become a part of your life and your family, then go for it and don’t look back.

You could never regret a good decision. That person coming into your life should make it richer, make it better and you of course would be doing the same in their lives.

I choose those that I let into my sacred space very carefully, I am not interested in having any drama in my life, my life is a no drama zone.

We become like the people we spend time with, you do have the choice to invest time in people that make you better or not, ultimately the choice is still yours, so choose well.

So, I say again, you can definitely choose your family, but in doing so, choose well because you deserve the best.


My Children Made Me the Woman I Am

Raising my children made me the woman I am

Easy is not a word that comes to mind when I hear the words, “raising a child”.

My daughter is half Caribbean and half Irish, and I have no knowledge of the Irish heritage, but for her sake we will learn together.

My son is all Caribbean, but raised in US, he will also be thought about his heritage and we will learn more together.

I see the kindhearted, sweet, happy, brave smart little girl she is, and color never ever comes through for me, but unfortunately, we live in a difficult, digital world that feed off of ignorance and misconceptions.

At three my daughter wished her hair was straight and her skin was white. It broke my heart. I knew at this point I would have to step up my game as a woman and embrace all of me, so that I can be an example for her.  So, I did. I cut off every negative person and thing in my life including family members. I took better care of my health and dressing like I like myself.  I started being more social and outgoing. Man was that a daily struggle. Even today at times it still is.

My son is resilient, brave, tough and a fighter, he’s so caring smart, sociable and dedicated, ambitious and focused, I love my son so much.

Experiencing culture shock, mistreatment from the father figure who promised to take care of him and being protective of me although he didn’t know how. He’s one of the best young men I know.

I would talk to myself when I got dressed and they always watched me and say and do whatever everything. I would tell myself how gorgeous I am, how beautiful my brown skin is, and how lovely my curly hair was and how much I loved all of me so much how God made.

I was teaching them about self-acceptance, not talking at them about it. I showed them ways to love themselves and to not take what ignorant people have to say personal. They can’t help being stupid, but they do make the choose to be mean. Using words to hurt isn’t funny or fun and try their best to stay away form people like that.

Fast forward two years later, I can’t even recognize the awesome woman that I have become because of my kids. I graduated from University.  We live in an apartment that I always though was out of my reach, but always dreamed of living in. I make a good salary and my kids are so much happier, I am in gratitude every day for God bringing us so far.  My teenage son inspires me and my toddler daughter motivates me.

Thank you baby’s your my hero’s.

 

 

[insert pic of them holding hands walking to the park]