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I didn’t make myself

I didn’t make myself

I wonder if I had a choice, would I make me, me?

If you had a choice, would you make you, you?

Would it depend on the choices that you were given? What if you had no example, but you had all of the pieces?

Take a good long deep look in the mirror; would you seriously put all those pieces perfectly in place, body parts perfectly positioned, every follicle of hair perfectly positioned, complexion of skin, and teeth in place, would you?

I bet you wouldn’t, even if you could.

Perfection doesn’t exist. We grow, change, develop, evolve, get wounds that leave scars.

I am glad I didn’t make myself, but I’m so happy to be me.

You should be happy to be you, flaws, imperfections, vulnerabilities pet peeves and all. If your not happy being you, you could never be happy with someone else.

If you’re not happy with you, take it up with the one who made you, he’ll open up your eyes to your questions and fill you with answers. You’ll be able see beyond your questions of why, how and who, what, where and when.

You become filled with joy and gratitude.

I didn’t make myself and neither did you.

 

 

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5 steps to a Healthy Body

What does having a health body means to you?

I’ll tell you what it means to me. I think that my body is a direct reflection of my mind. You may think the same, maybe.

Here are my 5 steps in the right direction to a healthy body that I have and continue to do that can help you:

  1. Assess what you eat: this means pay attention to what you put in your mouth girl/boy. Its not cute to be mindlessly eating and expect to look and feel fantastic hun.
  2. Identify your triggers: this means taking note of what gives you those urges to mindlessly eat to make yourself feel better temporarily.
  3. Practice self-discipline: this means telling yourself that, two letter word that leads to discipline in your life; no.
  4. Create a routine that helps you achieve that body and mind that you desire: this means, think about what is and is not working in your life and daily routines, and eliminate what is not helping you.
  5. Be consistent: this means keep doing what is good for you and your goals even when you don’t feel like it.

These 5 steps are my personal tips that must be repeated daily to achieving goals even beyond obtaining a healthy body; you can apply these steps to, for example, your finances, going back to school, etc.

Love yourself enough to take these 5 steps for yourself.

 

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I’m giving up

I’m giving up on everything that never meant anything good for me. I’m giving up on all the lies that were taught and showed to me.

I’m leaving behind every person that continues to drain the life out of me, every horrible experience, every negative thought and every negative response.

I’m giving up every selfish, manipulating act towards me and every person that used me.

You are in my past. My future holds my present vision.

I give up wasting my time, effort and energy thinking and reminiscing about what could have been and how it could have been different.

I give up on all of the things, thoughts, people, places, behaviors, foods and conversations that doesn’t bring and/or are, life giving, light and pleasant.

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I Want Me

I am a wife; although I am not married YET.

I am a help meet; although I only help myself.

I am a sensual being; although I have no one to caress my soft supple skin yet.

I am funny and I crack myself up.

I am happy because it’s my job to make me happy.

I am wealthy; although my bank account will soon reflect that statement.

I like nice things; although I don’t have many of them yet.

I am confident and take myself on dates.

I am a cool lady, but I can get crazy.

I am a queen, and I will be treated as such.

I am awaiting my king because and he will discover the other parts of me that is just for him to see.

He will want and commit to all the parts of me, and I him.

In the beginning I wanted to find out those parts of me, the parts that I was unsure about and didn’t know very well. Now every day I wake up loving and wanting me, all of me.

I want me.

Even if there is no he,

I will always want me

because I am all that you see.

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Facing Rejection

Rejection has so many faces, I can only tell you about a few of them here. I have come face to face with him and he is one ugly mofo. Yes, I said he. If you haven’t seen him yet good luck, when you do, he isn’t going to be nice to you.

He was at a job interview, he was an ex-boyfriend, he was a loan officer and even a banker. That fool wears a lot of faces I tell you. Here’s the secret to a face-off with this fool.  A smile, he’s going to hate it.

From a big picture, rejection is not always a bad thing. Although it’s ugly in that moment, in the long term, it may have saved you from many negative situations, possibly even saved your life.

I urge you to find your way of dealing with him (rejection), because one way or another you’re going to have a face-off with him, and sometimes you’re going to fight, you should also figure out when a fight in warranted. He can make thing complicated and messy, but don’t let him control you, allow him to make you a better you in spite of his ugliness.

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What makes you better than me?

What makes you better than me?

I didn’t choose where I was born, when I was born, or who I was born to. I didn’t choose my opportunities, my abilities, strength, weaknesses; I didn’t choose my cousins, uncles, aunties, brothers or sisters.

I didn’t choose were I was born.

You didn’t choose it either, so who are you to think that your better than me?

I didn’t choose my name, gender, birth date or time.

Man get over yourself, you are no better than me.

You may have more stuff, seen more, done more, but you are not better.

If I had the choice, I would choose better, but just because I don’t have what you have doesn’t make you better.

Stuff doesn’t make you better. Having things doesn’t make you better.

Can anyone tell me what makes you better than me?

To answer that question, you’re not.  Were all one we all have our part to play.

Together we make each other better.

 

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My 5 favorite intermittent fasting benefits

My 5 favorite intermittent fasting benefits

Intermittent Fasting

After playing with intermittent fasting for so many years; this year I decided to take things serious and see where this journey takes me.

I have done research on and off over the past few years and the health benefits are what keeps drawing me back in.

Don’t get me wrong it was a bit intimidating at first, but it was because I believed the wrong information that was taught to me growing up like: “Its unhealthy to not eat, you need to eat all the food on your plate, if you don’t eat you’ll die” and so on. After I completed my first 3 day fast about 4 years ago, it changed my whole outlook on life and the choices that I have made with my health. I started questioning everything. I was on a mission.

When I looked up intermittent fasting, the first thing I saw was how much pounds someone could lose, but I wanted to know if that was the only benefit of fasting. Happily, no is the answer to that question.

Here are my five favorite benefits to intermittent fasting.

  1. Better sleep. Man getting a good night’s rest is like something from another universe. This quality of sleep must be what babies have when they wake up happy.
  2. I wake up rested and ready to go. This also lead me to having productive days. I think better and I’m not tired in the middle of the day. Snack cravings have nearly gone away.
  3. I work out much better fasted. I have so much more energy working out, less time between sets and recovery is less painful. In a 2 week span I started to see result that used to take about 6 weeks to see for me.
  4. I don’t think about food as much. I have saved so much time in the morning not having to worry about breakfast.
  5. I enjoy my food so much more. The flavors just pop, which makes me slow down and savor the flavors, I enjoy eating my food so much more.

What type of intermittent fasting do I practice? 16:8; which allows me to fast for 16 hours and eat during an 8 hour window of time. I normally break my fast between 10:30 – 11am and have my last meal 6:30 -7pm.  This works best for me you should try it and see what works best for you.

Connect with me on my YouTube channel (Dominique life) to watch the video about my intermittent fasting experience and journey.

 

 

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3 easy ways to start intermittent fasting.

3 easy ways to start intermittent fasting.

1. Eating dinner earlier. If you normally have dinner around 7-8pm then try for 6-7pm. This will allow your body to digest your diner earlier before you go to bed and give your body a better chance of cleaning and healing its self while you sleep.

2.  If the first point doesn’t work for you then try holding off on breakfast for an hour or more if you can. Instead of eating you can consume tea, water or cofee. Hydrating your body after 8 hours of sleep is only good for you and a great start to your day and a new intermittent fasting lifestyle.

3.  Keep beverages close by. Sometimes when we get a craving or a stomach  gurgle, we think that’s the alarm to put food in our gut, but it could be a sign of thirst. Keep hydrated and eventually you will recognize the difference between hunger and thirst.

These are the three easy steps I took to start my intermittent fasting life style.

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You were made to stand out and be seen

Made to stand out

I have always been the “odd ball”, for a better way of putting it, but something happened after my 25th birthday, I just didn’t give a “rip” anymore. I couldn’t care less what people thought about me, so I dressed, and carried myself how I wanted to and it made me feel confident, happy and bold.

Finances were always a struggle and moving to another country in a totally different climate, and culture was difficult without support. I didn’t fit in any were, not only was I the only black person, but the only foreigner. There was no cultural diversity.

I got married to a man that promised to love me and support me, but that never happened; instead I got used, abused, teased and threatened. I was taught all the wrong information and I was always the guinea pig for deception when it came to him using his family for money. But no more, I started my college career at a local community college, and I was taught how to find information, later I learned it’s called research. Now I’m a certified researcher.

I graduated from a university I transferred to after 3 years of studies at a community college, and I am so proud of myself for making it through, it was one of the most difficult times in my life.

While in school I gave birth to my baby girl, went through a divorce and had to maintain a job to support my 2 kids. I had no family support, and my family back home couldn’t help me either.

For 3 of the 6 years I felt stuck, frustrated, alone and lonely, until I shifted how I thought about my situation. Then I came across Lisa Nichols on YouTube, she said two thing that I repeated in my mind that help me through my day to day life: the first is, “it’s OK to not be OK”, and the second is, “Why blend in, when you were made to stand out”.

I was made from the foundations of the world to stand out and that I do now, despite the racism, that dirty looks the gossip behind my back the jealous looks, envy, malice and whatever other ill will people have toward me that don’t know me.

Today I walk bold, confident, pleased, courageous and ready to create the life that I want; because I was made to stand out.

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You can’t choose your family??

Choose your family well

All my life and even today, I hear; “you can’t choose your family”, I say bull. You most definitely can choose your family, but when you do, choose well.

Yes, we are all born into a family that we may or may not love or even like, but we all do have the advantage to choose who we spend our lives with; who we give our love to, who we commit to, and whom we invest our time in.

In order for us to choose well, we must endure trails, unfortunately be hurt, or if your fortunate learn from some elses experience’s and/or testimony’s.

I am rebellious by nature, but I choose what to be rebellious toward and I make sure that the outcome benefits me and my legacy. I people watch and not just once or twice, I take note of actions in different situations, I listen to language, word use, mannerisms, character, self-care, self-love, responses, reactions and the list continues.

A combination of those things paint a vivid picture about the authenticity of a person; which should tell you if you would truly want “this” person in your life or not.  If there are reservations to the answer you give yourself, just don’t. You are worth more than that. But if there is no hesitation to if this person should become a part of your life and your family, then go for it and don’t look back.

You could never regret a good decision. That person coming into your life should make it richer, make it better and you of course would be doing the same in their lives.

I choose those that I let into my sacred space very carefully, I am not interested in having any drama in my life, my life is a no drama zone.

We become like the people we spend time with, you do have the choice to invest time in people that make you better or not, ultimately the choice is still yours, so choose well.

So, I say again, you can definitely choose your family, but in doing so, choose well because you deserve the best.

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My children made me the woman I am

Raising my children made me the woman I am

Easy is not a word that comes to mind when I hear the words, “raising a child”.

My daughter is half Caribbean and half Irish, and I have no knowledge of the Irish heritage, but for her sake we will learn together.

My son is all Caribbean, but raised in US, he will also be thought about his heritage and we will learn more together.

I see the kindhearted, sweet, happy, brave smart little girl she is, and color never ever comes through for me, but unfortunately, we live in a difficult, digital world that feed off of ignorance and misconceptions.

At three my daughter wished her hair was straight and her skin was white. It broke my heart. I knew at this point I would have to step up my game as a woman and embrace all of me, so that I can be an example for her.  So, I did. I cut off every negative person and thing in my life including family members. I took better care of my health and dressing like I like myself.  I started being more social and outgoing. Man was that a daily struggle. Even today at times it still is.

My son is resilient, brave, tough and a fighter, he’s so caring smart, sociable and dedicated, ambitious and focused, I love my son so much.

Experiencing culture shock, mistreatment from the father figure who promised to take care of him and being protective of me although he didn’t know how. He’s one of the best young men I know.

I would talk to myself when I got dressed and they always watched me and say and do whatever everything. I would tell myself how gorgeous I am, how beautiful my brown skin is, and how lovely my curly hair was and how much I loved all of me so much how God made.

I was teaching them about self-acceptance, not talking at them about it. I showed them ways to love themselves and to not take what ignorant people have to say personal. They can’t help being stupid, but they do make the choose to be mean. Using words to hurt isn’t funny or fun and try their best to stay away form people like that.

Fast forward two years later, I can’t even recognize the awesome woman that I have become because of my kids. I graduated from University.  We live in an apartment that I always though was out of my reach, but always dreamed of living in. I make a good salary and my kids are so much happier, I am in gratitude every day for God bringing us so far.  My teenage son inspires me and my toddler daughter motivates me.

Thank you baby’s your my hero’s.

 

 

[insert pic of them holding hands walking to the park]