That One Good Friend

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Growing up I was always an odd ball, no matter where I went; I still am in some ways, but I don’t care anymore. I am Me.

My older and oldest sisters had a few friends that they grew up with Junior and High School, and they would hang out, talk with each other and it looked like they helped out each other. I always wanted that. I didn’t have that. I had a person that became my friend, but she wasn’t really a friend.  If I couldn’t do something to help her out or do something for her, there as a disagreement or she wouldn’t speak to me. Me being the dummy I was back then, tried to be something that I wasn’t to make her happy.

After a few years of this and my mom telling me she’s a leech, I learned to defend myself and tell her what I thought. This got to her at some point and she made it difficult to be around her. I told her this and why I felt if being difficult around her and said my farewells and I haven’t seen her since April 18 2010. I don’t miss the drama, but I do miss having a friend. I understand no one is perfect and you have to take the good with the bad, but if a person isn’t a good influence and helping you become a better person and add light to your light then they have to go.

Ever since then I have had many failure, but so many more successes, and I am happy with me. I am ready to have that ONE good friend in my corner. I’m ready to invest mt time and effort, now that I know me and what a friend should be to me and I to them.

You know that ONE person who knows you, that ONE you whine and cry to, that person that supports your dreams and goals, that’s happy when good things happen for you knowing their next. When you or she/he wins, you both win. Yeah that ONE good friend.

Are you out there?

To that One good friend.

Why Should I Fall in Love Again?

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Falling in love has never done me any good. I have some-what fallen, half –way fallen, and fallen so deep it took years to get back to myself. I don’t want to fall in love anymore. Falling in love hurts too much, and love isn’t supposed to hurt, right? I know it isn’t supposed to hurt. To me falling in love is like a rough landing of an airplane, or when it crashes. You never know how bad it’s going to be and how long the recovery will take until you’re going through it and every moment sucks.  

Instead, I want to rise in love. Rising in love to me would be like a smooth lift off when flying in an airplane, or smooth elevating when on a roller coaster. That doesn’t hurt, it feels other worldly. So good it makes you think of so many possibilities, choices and ways that your life can go.

It gives you a big picture purview. I want the flight to last a life time, that’s what my hearts desire. No matter how long or short it lasts, when you’re on the right flight and it seems as though you’re elevating or maintaining, there won’t be a fall, but a soar.

It’s a different concept, but it’s that good stuff that makes you a better person regardless of the outcome, because you’ll continue to soar always.

Choose to rise in love and let each hand hold the hand of another, so that you can rise in love together.

Playing it Safe. What’s That?

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“The greater the risk the greater the reward”, at least so they say.

I say “Great rewards go to who’s willing to risk it no matter what, for the greater good”.

I never had the mental concept of safe. I grew up in a not so good neighborhood, with way less that the average Joe, but we survived. We had barely what we needed at times and I thought that was normal, at least it was for us, for me. I was raised and surrounded by people that had to take big chances to just survive, so taking risks is a part of me.

My upbringing and experiences has helped shape me although I don’t like to admit it sometimes. Having less than the average Joe and seeing how the 1% lived still plays on my mind. Ever since I can remember, I have been on a quest to educate myself on how do I go from less than nothing to having everything that I thought I could never have.

At this point in my life I have taken some life and death chances, I have taken some life altering chances and I am stronger and better for it. Now it’s time to take some financial altering chances. I want to live like the 1%, so I have been studying them, learning and practicing to change my life and fake it until I make it.

I can tell you my choices and chances does in involve time, a lot of effort, and risk. There is no playing it safe to go from nothing to the 1%.

I know it’s possible because I’ve seen it, self-made millionaires, and billionaires. I am going to become both. I’m learning what risks are worth taking and what’s not.

I may not have the full picture before me, but every day I learn, I do, I learn I do.

I am a baby in this journey, but I am definitely maturing quickly. I am focused and ambitious without limits on myself. My mom would always say, “there is more than one way to skin a cat.” Well I’m going to try to skin this cat as many ways as possible.

Take the risk that will transform generations after you.

My Imperfectly Perfect Man- A Letter to my man

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Hey baby!

I’ve been waiting for you, and I am worth every moment you waited for me. Those beautiful piercing eyes that look at me the way only you do. I thought at times you were too good to be true, but here you are holding me so perfectly.

There were months, let’s be honest years, I’ve dreamt about what you would look like. Now I don’t have to imagine anymore.

I was very happy single, but you added something to me, to us, that I believe only you could. You’re imperfectly perfect just for me.

I’m glad similar things make us happy and we complement one another so well. It’s funny that with you I don’t get a since of searching, but satisfaction. You make me feel like I’m the only person on earth, to me that is priceless.

Thank you for being imperfectly perfect just for me.

Loving yourself is the key.

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I have been single for about 5ish years and it has been a combination of maybe more than happiness, joy, sadness, depression, loneliness, aggression, self-doubt, low self-esteem, patience to then find who I am. Learning what that means and everything that comes along with that. Learning what I want and expect from myself, what I want mentally, physically, emotionally, and psychologically.

Loving myself to me means, self-discovery, and that’s a daily journey because we evolve daily. Self-love takes work; a lot of work initially, but daily effort is necessary because you can easily lose focus and start regressing in to that old version of yourself. 

I have learned that loving myself means that I can love someone else, because I can not give what I don’t have.

This reminds me of a saying; “who feels it, knows it”. No one can truly love you until they love themselves first. They have to do the work to love them-selves, so that they can love you. You have to do the work to love yourself to be able to love someone else. When we are filled with genuine, authentic love for ourselves, we can share that with another and gain more love.

Loving yourself is multi-dimensional. No matter how long you’ve practiced self-love,  there is always new discoveries about yourself.

Take the time to learn yourself, learn how to love yourself first because you’re worth the effort.

You cannot give what you don’t have, so love yourself to give love.

I’m Giving Up

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I’m giving up on everything that never meant anything good for me. I’m giving up on all the lies that were taught and showed to me.

I’m leaving behind every person that continues to drain the life out of me, every horrible experience, every negative thought and every negative response.

I’m giving up every selfish, manipulating act towards me and every person that used me.

You are in my past. My future holds my present vision.

I give up wasting my time, effort and energy thinking and reminiscing about what could have been and how it could have been different.

I give up on all of the things, thoughts, people, places, behaviors, foods and conversations that doesn’t bring and/or are, life giving, light and pleasant.

I Want Me

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I am a wife; although I am not married YET.

I am a help meet; although I only help myself.

I am a sensual being; although I have no one to caress my soft supple skin yet.

I am funny and I crack myself up.

I am happy because it’s my job to make me happy.

I am wealthy; although my bank account will soon reflect that statement.

I like nice things; although I don’t have many of them yet.

I am confident and take myself on dates.

I am a cool lady, but I can get crazy.

I am a queen, and I will be treated as such.

I am awaiting my king because and he will discover the other parts of me that is just for him to see.

He will want and commit to all the parts of me, and I him.

In the beginning I wanted to find out those parts of me, the parts that I was unsure about and didn’t know very well. Now every day I wake up loving and wanting me, all of me.

I want me.

Even if there is no he,

I will always want me

because I am all that you see.

Facing Rejection

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Rejection has so many faces, I can only tell you about a few of them here. I have come face to face with him and he is one ugly mofo. Yes, I said he. If you haven’t seen him yet good luck, when you do, he isn’t going to be nice to you.

He was at a job interview, he was an ex-boyfriend, he was a loan officer and even a banker. That fool wears a lot of faces I tell you. Here’s the secret to a face-off with this fool.  A smile, he’s going to hate it.

From a big picture, rejection is not always a bad thing. Although it’s ugly in that moment, in the long term, it may have saved you from many negative situations, possibly even saved your life.

I urge you to find your way of dealing with him (rejection), because one way or another you’re going to have a face-off with him, and sometimes you’re going to fight, you should also figure out when a fight in warranted. He can make thing complicated and messy, but don’t let him control you, allow him to make you a better you in spite of his ugliness.

What Makes You Better than Me?

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What makes you better than me?

I didn’t choose where I was born, when I was born, or who I was born to. I didn’t choose my opportunities, my abilities, strength, weaknesses; I didn’t choose my cousins, uncles, aunties, brothers or sisters.

I didn’t choose were I was born.

You didn’t choose it either, so who are you to think that your better than me?

I didn’t choose my name, gender, birth date or time.

Man get over yourself, you are no better than me.

You may have more stuff, seen more, done more, but you are not better.

If I had the choice, I would choose better, but just because I don’t have what you have doesn’t make you better.

Stuff doesn’t make you better. Having things doesn’t make you better.

Can anyone tell me what makes you better than me?

To answer that question, you’re not.  Were all one we all have our part to play.

Together we make each other better.

 

My 5 favorite Intermittent Fasting Benefits

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My 5 favorite intermittent fasting benefits

Intermittent Fasting

After playing with intermittent fasting for so many years; this year I decided to take things serious and see where this journey takes me.

I have done research on and off over the past few years and the health benefits are what keeps drawing me back in.

Don’t get me wrong it was a bit intimidating at first, but it was because I believed the wrong information that was taught to me growing up like: “Its unhealthy to not eat, you need to eat all the food on your plate, if you don’t eat you’ll die” and so on. After I completed my first 3 day fast about 4 years ago, it changed my whole outlook on life and the choices that I have made with my health. I started questioning everything. I was on a mission.

When I looked up intermittent fasting, the first thing I saw was how much pounds someone could lose, but I wanted to know if that was the only benefit of fasting. Happily, no is the answer to that question.

Here are my five favorite benefits to intermittent fasting.

  1. Better sleep. Man getting a good night’s rest is like something from another universe. This quality of sleep must be what babies have when they wake up happy.
  2. I wake up rested and ready to go. This also lead me to having productive days. I think better and I’m not tired in the middle of the day. Snack cravings have nearly gone away.
  3. I work out much better fasted. I have so much more energy working out, less time between sets and recovery is less painful. In a 2 week span I started to see result that used to take about 6 weeks to see for me.
  4. I don’t think about food as much. I have saved so much time in the morning not having to worry about breakfast.
  5. I enjoy my food so much more. The flavors just pop, which makes me slow down and savor the flavors, I enjoy eating my food so much more.

What type of intermittent fasting do I practice? 16:8; which allows me to fast for 16 hours and eat during an 8 hour window of time. I normally break my fast between 10:30 – 11am and have my last meal 6:30 -7pm.  This works best for me you should try it and see what works best for you.

Connect with me on my YouTube channel (Dominique life) to watch the video about my intermittent fasting experience and journey.